Do You Struggle to Speak Up in Meetings?
It’s an evergreen problem for any consultant. Here are two skills you must master to get better.
You know, I struggled with speaking up in meetings, especially if partners were present.
I joined McKinsey at 34 as an experienced hire.
I used to be a confident communicator. But at McKinsey, I became this unconfident and reserved person who wouldn’t speak up in meetings.
It seemed that in the consulting environment, louder colleagues prevailed. Younger consultants were much more confident and outspoken. They always knew what to say.
On top of that, partners were incredibly fast and impatient. It was very hard to keep up with the conversation flow, let alone contribute anything meaningful.
When I finally built up the courage to speak up, I was always shut down and interrupted. Sometimes, even ridiculed. After a few of those moments, I just stopped trying.
My confidence was completely destroyed.
But that was the worst thing I could do. In MBB consulting, being silent is extremely dangerous. You simply can’t grow. To be successful, you must be visible and outspoken.
It took me a while to realize that this was not a confidence problem. It was a skill gap. Communication is a complex skill consisting of a few important elements. Here, I broke it down into two main categories: structure and tactics.
Part one: Structure
To be completely honest, when I look back at my failed communications, I simply didn’t have anything interesting to say. I was not prepared. I often rambled incoherently. No wonder others interrupted me.
For effective communication, it’s important to prepare good points to make. They can be your findings, insights, and perspectives.
Here’s my advice for you: Prepare your points in advance. Structure them in a top-down way. Rehearse a few times before the meeting. Anticipate any potential questions.
This is when you practice top-down communication.
Please understand this. We don’t speak in a top-down way in daily life. It’s not natural for us. That’s why you should force yourself and practice this as a skill, not treat it as a talent or inspiration. It’s a very technical thing, and can be learned.
You can practice top-down communication using my new interactive exercise. It will provide you with realistic consulting scenarios asking you to prepare structured communications (steerco, client meeting, email to partners).
Try to Practice Top-Down Communications
Part two: Conversational Tactics
Initially, I had this naive understanding of how communication worked.
I expected that when I talked, people would listen to me patiently, understand what I had to say, and appreciate my contributions. And when it didn’t happen, when people interrupted me, I considered it a personal failure. And that demotivated me and destroyed my confidence.
But then I realized that it’s a normal thing. That’s how humans interact. Through asking questions, they try to understand the topics being discussed.
Partners often interrupt. They ask questions. They go on tangents. You can’t expect to speak in monologues. That’s not how meetings work.
Instead of being afraid of interruptions, I decided to accept them as the norm. And learn to proactively manage the whole conversation from the beginning to the end.
Here are a few tactics I found helpful to identify and practice:
- Set the context and agenda of the meetings;
- Acknowledge and deflect the question;
- Grab attention before speaking;
- Circle back to the main conversation;
- Ask clarifying questions;
- Summarize the conversation.
How did I learn them?
Well, it was pretty simple. I observed others demonstrating great techniques that I liked, and then I wrote down the exact verbiage for my future use. Then I practiced and adapted them for my speech, so they sound natural to me. For me, as a non-native English speaker, that was an important part of my skill-building.
Once I learned to combine structure with tactics, everything changed.
I stopped dreading meetings. Even when I had nothing particularly insightful to say, the tactics alone made me come across as a competent and confident consultant.
I hope this will be helpful in your consulting work.
If you want a faster way to learn communication structuring, I built an interactive exercise where you can practice structuring your communication. It gives you real scenarios and AI-powered feedback. It’s actually quite spooky how precise it is.
Try the Communication Exercise
P.S. If you are an MBB consultant who wants to improve performance and become confident, book a discovery call to discuss how I can help you.