How to conduct feedback sessions with partners?

It's the most frequent question I get from consultants. Often, consultants don't know how to handle it well. Let me tell you what you can do.

I joined consulting at 34 as an experienced hire.

You would expect people like me to know how to navigate work situations well.

But I made a lot of stupid mistakes.

Here is one of them.

I used to provide harsh feedback to my manager.

During my first year, I had the most difficult project in my life.

A manager on the project was seven years younger than me. She was a career consultant who joined the firm as an intern. So, we experienced a generational conflict.

We used to conduct these very weird feedback sessions. It felt like torture for both of us.

She told me what I did wrong from a toolkit perspective. And I mentioned her mistakes in people management.

As a result, our relationship was terrible.

Who do you think suffered more? Correct, it was me who was assessed by her.

Don't do that.

As a new consultant, you must optimize for your own survival.

Of course, you can embark on a crusade to change your leaders, like I did.

But most likely, it will not end well for you.

It's not a safe environment. You are assessed on everything you do.

Your main objective should be to strengthen your relationship with your leaders.

People don't like criticism. Even if they ask you to provide honest feedback, they subconsciously don't like the negative one.

Don't get me wrong. I love feedback. MBB firms are known for their feedback culture. It's just that upward feedback doesn't always work, and not everyone can take it well.

That’s why you should be careful. First, secure your safety and make sure you are doing well. Then, you can give as much feedback as you want.

So, considering this hard-earned wisdom, here are a few things you can do.

Conduct regular feedback sessions

Consultants often conduct feedback sessions with partners at the end of the project. It's a big mistake. It's already too late.

They will just give you the feedback, but there is no time to do anything about it, so it is not that helpful.

Here is the rule of thumb. Aim to have feedback sessions with your managers once every two weeks and with your partners every four weeks.

You must initiate these sessions. Don’t wait for your leaders to come to you. If you don’t do it, it won’t happen.

Conduct feedback sessions after big wins

What you want to avoid is your partners channeling their stress into your feedback.

That is why you must time your feedback sessions in the right moments.

Try to do them after big wins.

For example, imagine you successfully conducted a big SteerCo.

Your leaders would feel relaxed and positive.

Then, in your feedback, they will focus more on your impact and strengths.

The chances are that’s what they’ll remember and tell your evaluator.

Be clear on your goals

Use feedback sessions to tell your narrative.

You can tell them your goals and then show how you achieved them throughout the project.

If you have a special case in the review cycle, for example, you want to get a promotion, a higher rating, or avoid a negative one, tell them that. They must know. The earlier, the better.

That way, you can devise a plan for achieving your goals together. You can ask them directly: “What do I have to do to make it happen?”. This will make your leaders think carefully and give you a straight answer.

And then, when your evaluator asks them å direct question if you are ready for a promotion or higher rating, you already have their buy-in and support.

Okay, but how do we conduct feedback sessions?

Here are a few topics you can discuss.

1. Thank them for the opportunity (it goes a long way)

Thank your leaders for the opportunity to work on this project.

In these tough economic times, it's not a small thing.

Also, thank them for the coaching and mentoring. Even if you don’t feel you get enough. They don’t have to coach you, but they can if they want.

I like this little trick. It’s a bit of dark magic, but you need all the help you can master.

For example, think of any situations when they provided feedback to you.

Implement it. Then, tell them how exactly it helped you improve.

Be specific and fact-based. People feel flattery right away.

If you think hard enough, you can come up with something tangible, even with the most toxic and difficult leaders.

Then, as a result, you position them as your de facto supporters and mentors.

Generally, people like to think of themselves as great people leaders.

If they see their coaching working, they become invested in your success.

And most likely, they start behaving like your true sponsors. That’s what you want.

2. Share your own perspective

Share your own perspective on your development and growth.

What have you tried to work on? What are your priorities? What impact have you demonstrated?

If you are reflective and sophisticated in your own thinking about your development, your leaders will think that you are a smart and coachable consultant.

Focus on a positive narrative.

Don't be that person who doubles down on the negatives. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot.

Partners may not see all your weaknesses, so don’t give them a reason to know more than they need to.

Don't put bad ideas in their heads.

3 Ask for feedback

Finally, ask for their feedback.

Don't be defensive. Don't explain yourself.

There is no positive scenario when being defensive helps you in this situation.

Just don't do it.

Feedback is a gift. It's hard enough to provide any feedback, especially negative feedback. Appreciate their effort.

But you can ask clarifying questions and ask to provide examples. Try to better understand what they are saying and why.

Sometimes, you can uncover moments when partners provide BS feedback simply because they don’t know you well. Then, they will struggle to answer your questions. They will feel awkward.

As a result, they realize they can't give you generic feedback. They come up with more tangible feedback next time.

Do these things to improve your chances of building stronger relationships with your leaders, developing faster, and achieving your career goals.

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The consulting journey is complex. Developing on your own without any mentoring and coaching is extremely difficult.

That is why I developed my coaching program for lateral hires. I help them develop well, perform well, and become successful consultants.

If you are an MBB consultant and sick of being average and struggling with development, I want to speak with you.

Book a Free 1-1 Consultation to discuss whether I can help you through my coaching program. There is no commitment, and you can ask any burning questions in a risk-free environment.

Read this post to learn more about the Hero’s Journey coaching program.